The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. -Epictetus
It is with this thought in mind that I need to share a post from Ed Latimore. Ed consistently creates amazing content, and as a rule, you should always digest information from men who inspire. Epictetus’ quote applies online as much as in real life.
Today, Ed posts part 1 of what will hopefully be a multi-part treatise sharing his insights on how a successful man creates a successful relationship.
This is going to sound obvious, but it needs to be stated. You have to be the person you wish to attract. Actually, due to the effects of hypergamy, you need to be slightly more than the traits you hope to attract.
If you want an intelligent woman, you need to be of at least average intelligence. If you want a woman that’s fit and healthy, you need to live in the gym. If you want a feminine woman, you need to be dominant and masculine male.
The list can go on, but the bottom line is that whatever trait is important to you, you need the same trait (or it’s masculine equivalent) at greater levels than you desire. It’s not fair, but men don’t complain about fairness. We just adapt so that we can get what we want.
This is an important point that many guys will simply gloss over. Many a Red-Pill Rambo will read a few books, check a few things off the to-do list and assume that high value women will simply throw themselves at them. This is not true and it never has been. Hypergamy dictates that women will seek to improve their environment using their most valuable tool. So it’s best to keep it off the pedestal.
Ed’s thoughts align nicely with Robert Greene’s first Law of Power: Never Outshine the Master. If your girl is outshining you, who exactly is the Master? You can date outside your league for a while, but a long term relationship will be difficult when it is obvious to everyone (including her) that her value outpaces yours. This is not an argument for dating down. On the contrary, it is an argument for increasing your prospects by increasing your value. Change the league in which you are playing.
If you are equal to your woman, then you are not leading.
For those married men or men already in a long term relationship, this applies as well. Become the man that could attract the kind of woman you want. Your wife will notice and may decide that it’s wise to become that woman before you find her.