Carrie Prejean is back in the news. She had an uncomfortable appearance on Larry King and everyone has been talking ’sex-tape’ ’sex-tape’ ’sex-tape’. Dan Calabrese explains Prejean Derangement Syndrome :

Why is Carrie Prejean not allowed to have appeared in topless photos or in a “sex tape”? This gets a little complicated, so try to stay with me:

Once Carrie Prejean had expressed an opinion on a social/political issue that is unacceptable to the American left, she found herself on The List. And what is The List? The List is a collection of people who can, must and will have their entire lives scoured for any example of “hypocrisy.”

But we’re not done yet. We have to explain the definition of “hypocrisy” as determined by the keepers of The List – because it’s different from yours and mine. You and I think hypocrisy is when you say one thing and do another. Prejean upset the likes of Perez Hilton by saying that marriage is between a man and a woman. So what would make her a hypocrite? If she married another woman, of course. (Or if she, say, performed a wedding ceremony between the aforementioned Mr. Hilton and, er, maybe, Jon Gosselin.)

Then she would be a hypocrite as you and I define it. But that’s not the definition that applies here.

The definition that applies here works like this: She is a conservative and a Christian. Conservatives and Christians are judgmental prudes who a) claim to be perfect; and b) judge everyone else for not being perfect. So it doesn’t matter that she never denounced topless photos. It doesn’t matter that she never denounced “sex tapes.” Every prudish, judgmental belief that has ever been imagined by a critic of Christians and conservatives is hereby ascribed to Carrie Prejean. Anything she has ever done in contradiction of these imagined beliefs thereby proves her hypocrisy.

Conclusion: Gay marriage is awesome. And all because TMZ has a video of Carrie Prejean masturbating. It’s good to be alive.