Zo Long, Zima.

Slate.com reports on the long, slow, torturous death of Zima. “There are a million ways to slight a rival’s manhood, but to suggest that he enjoys Zima is one of the worst.”

We couldn’t agree more. No self-respecting guy would be caught dead with a Zima in his hand. The brand has, for too long, been associated with the wussified, “zophisticated”, girly-men who could never quite acquire a taste for real beer, and women, of course.

There was a period of about two months in 1994 when it was socially acceptable for a man to drink it, but only once and only as some sort of experiment to prove that he was too manly to like it. The stigma attached to the brand lasted through several attempts to rebrand it as more manly. I don’t think that even reformulating it as a mixture of Megan Fox’s bath water and diesel fuel could have saved the brand-image for men.

Girly-men had long ago moved on to more socially acceptable brands of not-beer, such as Mike’s hard whatever-fruit and Smirnoff Ice.

Rest in Peace, Zima.

1993 Zima Commercial courtesy of BetaMining.com